one of my favorites

SING ME TO HEAVEN
text: Jane Griner

In my heart’s sequestered chambers lie truths stripped of poet’s gloss.
Words alone are vain and vacant, and my heart is mute.
In response to aching silence memory summons half-heard voices,
And my soul finds primal eloquence and wraps me in song.



If you would comfort me, sing me a lullaby.
If you would win my heart, sing me a love song.
If you would mourn me and bring me to God,
Sing me a requiem, Sing me to heaven.



Touch in me all love and passion, pain and pleasure,
Touch in me grief and comfort; love and passion, Pain and pleasure.



Sing me a lullaby, a love song, a requiem,
Love me, comfort me, bring me to God:
Sing me a love song, Sing me to heaven.

der....

i have so much going on right now that i can barely think straight. i dont know if i can comprehend. i mean, i can explain everything, but i dont........get it yet. do you know what i mean?

anyway, here is a recent picture of the girly. she doesn't look like she's only 19 months old!!!

What I'm Thankful For

i am thankful for my daughter, and everyone who makes her life, my life, and our life together possible.

THANK YOU SO MUCH! I LOVE YOU!!!

Christmas in October

we have a new addition to the family! he is an adorable black and grey tiger print kitten! his name is sully and is simply the cutest little kitty. him and his brother, booger (a 13 year old dauschund), are getting along famously. :)

i have realized on the way home from work (currently a 50 min -1 1/2 hour drive) is that i am so ready for christmas. i am ready for the smell of evergreen. im ready for the smell of snow (as crazy as that sounds!!!) i am yearning for the tree to be put up. is it too early to put up the tree? i am ready for the radio station of 24 hour 'holiday' music. i want to teach my daughter to sing fa la la. i am ready for the smell of a fire in a fireplace...even if its not in my house (which would be good because we dont have a fireplace!) im ready for the lights outlining the houses.

i'm ready for the unwarrented joy. i'm ready for the unconditional hope. it is something unique about the christmas season.
there are 2 types of people in the holiday season. the overly happy people and the people who are grumpy. everyone ends up the same though, to a varying degree. everyone experiences some joy. everyone sees a glimmer of hope.

i have my hope. i see it right in front of me. i want to feel that hope all the time! and that is the promise with the christmas spirit. that is the promise of love. that is the promise of God.

picky

as recently posted on my twitter, i am a music snob. not so much that i suck to be around, but enough that whatever music i'm listening to needs to be either good or done well for me to enjoy it.
crappy music doesn't do it for me. crappy vocals don't do it for me. which is why karaoke can be a blessing or a curse. :D

that being said: i am a harmony freak. i am picky with it. it has to be done well if it is going to be done at all.
i have been told that is finding harmony in music is not an easy thing to do. really? maybe its just the way i was brought up with music or that throughout high school and college i mainly sang alto or second soprano. i love dissonance. i like the fullness of the chords. it comes to me easily. i hear a song, and can find at least one line of harmony to go with the melody. i've been doing it for 7 years now. i'm trying to teach harmony (when i can be there!) but i'm realizing that it doesn't come naturally to others. which is strange to me. i almost dont understand that!

is it like me not being able to understand math (which is my nemisis)? is my saying to someone "how can you not find the harmony line that begins on the 3rd?" like someone saying to me "how can you not derive poisson's equation?"

i have tried that equation much. i still can't do it.

maybe it is the same.

and for your enjoyment (or my mommy pride) here is lily!

bumps and bruises

She has started walking the last couple of weeks. it is so awesome to see her trapsing around like a drunken sailor. :) but now come the bruises....
the other day i was drying her off from a bath. she was standing next to the toilet and moved somehow causing her to slip. and knock her chin on the seat. i freaked out, grabbing her and holding this naked child wrapped in a towel. when i looked in her mouth, one of her bottom teeth had cut her upper gum, where there is no tooth. she had stopped crying altogether by the time i ran over to my mom asking what to do. she said "she seems fine now. you are going to have to get used to bumps and bruises."
i dont like that. i want her to be a tough girl. kinda like me, in the way that i am not afraid to get hurt, scratched, or dirty. but she is my child and i want to put bubble wrap around her so she doesn't have to know pain.
and then this evening...walking around the coffee table, drinking her nightly bottle, and playing with a remote control. she tripped on the pattern in the rug and headed face first into the table. it took a second for her to cry, but the bruise began immediately. right on her cheek bone. i took her downstairs to get some ice and a towel to wrap it in. she was more interested in the second half of the bottle.
it is amazing how resilient that child is. :)

183/182

it is already half way through the year. holy cow. so much has happened in an amount of time that doesn't seem like enough. time does get faster the older you get, huh? that is something that you never think of when you are a kid. everything is 'this is taking fooooreeeevvvverrr!' 'i can't wait until i'm (insert age here)! i'm going to be able to do so much!' now, it's 'God, this year went by so quickly...' and 'i remember being (insert age). i didn't have to do anything!'
it is a good thing though! now i look forward to every day with anticipation. what new things are going to happen? what am i going to learn? how many things am i going to wish i had a camera because it was so funny/adorable/spontaneous/cherish-able/awe inspiring, and i dont ever want to forget it?

how many times have you said 'i love you!' today? and meant it.

i love you!